WHY SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE MATTERS: A Deep Dive into Human Interaction

When most people think about intelligence, it's usually the "hard" kind of skill that comes to mind: problem-solving, verbal skills, logic, or number crunching.

However, when it comes to so-called "soft" skills such as understanding social roles, reading emotions, understanding relationships, or listening effectively, we rarely see them as part of an intelligence questionnaire.

And while hard skills are very important, it's the soft skills that help us maintain friendships, be satisfied at work, or simply find happiness in life.

The skills we call social intelligence are often overlooked and neglected in schools, even though there is a large amount of research that proves the undeniable benefits. That's why I want to share with you what social intelligence is and how you can benefit from it.

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Social Intelligence

Social intelligence skills and abilities are something that each of us can learn. Our genetics or biology does not matter here (of course, some people may be more susceptible to acquiring these features than others).

The theory of social intelligence was developed by psychologist Edward Thorndike in 1920.

We currently know that social intelligence is the ability to read and respond correctly to social signals, understand and manage one's own emotions, and fit into various social contexts.

Development of social intelligence

As adults, we develop these skills to some extent. We may have a broad understanding of what it means to be socially well-adjusted, but we differ in our ability to perceive and navigate the rules of social life.

The first signs of social intelligence are visible in humans as early as the 6th week of life. Children as young as 18 months of age can understand complex social signals and the intentions of others.

As we age, our surroundings and social environment become more complex and demanding, which requires a sophisticated set of skills and abilities that do not come naturally to most people (they need to be learned).

As adults, we become responsible and able to acquire new social skills, which in turn can bring significant benefits. So let's see how.

Benefits of Developing Social Intelligence

A lot of people think that social intelligence is something that usually comes to you. Because it is not directly related to profit and financial progress (though it is indirectly), its benefits easily elude us.

Developing social intelligence has many benefits for our social, emotional, and even physical well-being. Let's analyze them briefly:

Adaptability to changing social contexts

Today's world is changing extremely quickly - what was normal in 2020 has become a matter of nostalgia in 2021. Take the example of the well-known COVID-19 pandemic - what it has taught us is that knowing the facts and having skills is important, but what is most important to survive is having mental health, the ability to adapt to new circumstances, and maintaining a positive attitude during overcoming challenges.

The more you develop your social intelligence, the more effectively you will be able to cope with a complex, changing environment and your emotions.

Personal well-being

Because social intelligence is largely about understanding lower-level communication, dedicating emotional signals, and understanding our own and other's emotions, it provides us with the tools to achieve higher levels of personal and emotional well-being. Research published in 2018 shows that people with higher levels of social intelligence skills are more optimistic. Such people experience more positive effects and are more satisfied with their overall life. This in turn brings us to the next point - well-being.

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Mental and physical well-being

Numerous studies have proven that people who have stronger social connections and are more optimistic are less likely to suffer from mental problems. Which is associated with experiencing less stress and better physical health.

Economic success

One of the most common misconceptions about social intelligence is that it has nothing to do with economic success.

This is a misconception, as workplace adaptability, emotional self-regulation, understanding other people's complex emotions, building fruitful relationships, teamwork, and a variety of productivity-related skills and traits all play a key role when it comes to success at work.

More and more employers value social intelligence (often higher than usual IQ).

The head of HR at Santander - Vicky Wallis - believes that features related to social intelligence - such as teamwork, communication, and social skills - are the most valuable asset that a person can bring to a new workplace. For many employers, this may be more important than making decisions, writing, or even taking the initiative.

Becoming a Social Genius: Leading with Elite Situational Understanding

Weza Matomane gives an in-depth talk on how some of the most well-known global leaders, used social intelligence to create opportunities and success. Weza highlights some of the key lessons and understandings we can carry with us in understanding people, and situations, and how to tackle life's common problems.

Signs of social intelligence

Now that we know what social intelligence is and what benefits it brings, it's time to understand some of the key skills covered by this concept.

People with highly developed social intelligence can analyze complex social phenomena in difficult situations. They anticipate other people's feelings and reactions and also have an intuitive sense of what to say in specific situations. These are self-confident people.

Skills of a person with high social intelligence:

active listening - they listen carefully to the interlocutor, follow the complex set of signals used by the other person to convey the message;
having verbal fluency and conversational skills - the ability to conduct a conversation with anyone, regardless of age, culture, or level of education. It also involves remembering details about people. Thus, active listening is an important introduction to this skill;
understanding social roles and rules - even though we all have our natural ways of acting and reacting, social intelligence means understanding, because we must be aware of understanding the norms applicable in specific situations;
understanding other people's emotional states - the ability to put yourself in another person's shoes. To do this, we must understand social roles and rules, listen carefully to other people, and try to imagine ourselves in their shoes;
role-playing - in addition to understanding various social roles, the ability to take on various roles is also important. This is especially important in the work environment, where you need to be able to play both "mentor" and "mentee", superior and subordinate. Additionally, you may be a laid-back friend in one context and a serious leader in another;
self-efficacy and initiative - the ability to motivate oneself towards productivity and interpersonal relationships, as well as to manage and regulate one's emotional states and workflow;
impression management - refers to the ability to manage the impression you make on other people and is closely related to role-playing.

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How can I improve my social intelligence?

There are some simple ways to improve your social intelligence skills. I will present to you some of them that, in my opinion, are the easiest to implement.

Pay close attention to the people and situations around you

Most of us just move between situations and people on autopilot. We can easily switch off and be only half-present or follow our own needs.

If you want to develop your social intelligence skills, you need to be present in the moment and observe other people. Watch their facial expressions when they speak, and not just to you.

You can practice observing people and think about what other people are talking about, who they are, and how they are feeling based on what you see.

And that's not all. Now that you know social intelligence signals, you'll be able to recognize other socially intelligent people around you. Pay attention to how they behave in different situations and consider whether some of them might work for you too.

Follow your own physical and emotional cues

Very often, our own body and emotional responses can be a great source of understanding various social situations. We rarely stop to think about why our stomach suddenly hurts or why we feel sleepy every time we start a meeting with a particular client.

If you feel unusual awkwardness with someone or a sudden burst of energy with another person, it's a good idea to stop and think for a few minutes about what you're feeling and understand why.

Respect and learn about other cultures

Even if you live in a culturally homogeneous place, learning about other cultures can help you broaden your views and perhaps relativize some of your viewpoints or beliefs.

Questioning our worldview and practicing tolerance can significantly spur our growth as humans. Moreover, cultural differences can also refer to differences between people with different backgrounds, political views, sexual orientation, gender, and so on.

Practice active listening

Even if you live in a culturally homogeneous place, learning about other cultures can help you broaden your views and perhaps relativize some of your viewpoints or beliefs.

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Appreciate the people you love

Appreciate the people you love - We often take the people we love, especially those who love us, for granted. They're just always there. Socially intelligent people know how to cultivate deep interpersonal relationships by truly appreciating the people they love. You can write a letter of gratitude to a loved one who has made a huge impact on your life, or you can simply focus more on making sure you are present in their life when they need you. Sometimes they won't ask directly, but if you engage all your senses, you'll know what to do.

Although we have a natural predisposition to develop social intelligence, with the first signs of it beginning in childhood, it seems that not only are some people more susceptible to social cues than others, but we also need to train them.

skills.

Human culture is becoming more and more developed, and social functioning requires practice and forethought. Eventually, things come naturally, but for this to happen, we must be exposed to certain social situations, we must analyze them and put effort into learning how to act.

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