AUTHENTICITY - HOW TO DEVELOPE IT

The famous Albert Camus once said, "Man is the only creature in the world who refuses to be what he is- himself".

The popular "being yourself" is difficult in today's world. On every side, we are overwhelmed by the figures of people who clearly express their authority (they try to be perfect in our eyes), and in this way, they often become our idols.

This is normal - we have a natural need to follow people who in some way arouse our admiration and respect. As a result, we often unconsciously try to imitate such people. Even though for them their attitude is natural and authentic - which we naturally sense - the problem arises within us. When we imitate others, we put on the mask of someone completely different and, as a result, we stop being ourselves.

However, following certain standards and patterns does not have to involve authorities. It may as well be a friend we admire, or, for example, a family member who is an authority for us. During childhood, such a person is often a parent, which is healthy and desirable - in this way, we learn to find our own identity.

Unfortunately, when, due to low self-esteem, we maintain this need to follow others, we unconsciously give up the most important person in our lives - ourselves.

As a result, we withdraw all our natural talents, abilities, and personality traits. We begin to follow the imaginary image of ourselves that we have created in our heads. Then we eliminate ourselves so that we can be someone else. We pass judgment on ourselves - we kill our current "I" to create someone new, in our opinion better - someone we have never been and will never be.

The attitude described above often goes hand in hand with a lack of self-acceptance and a lack of self-acceptance - with low self-esteem.

When we have low self-esteem, we usually do not accept ourselves. How can we accept someone we don't value and perhaps don't even like? The lack of self-acceptance is painful, so we unconsciously try to look for ways to help us deal with these unpleasant emotions.

A common way is to put on a "mask". It is a kind of "sweeping under the carpet" of our personality, our shortcomings, and features that we do not accept in ourselves. It is self-denial - the murder of one's uniqueness and uniqueness.

We can certainly see that this is a very comfortable posture because it does not require any work on yourself. Putting on a mask is simple, all you need to do is choose the right one for you - one that will be comfortable for you and in which you will feel good. However, the price we pay for escaping from ourselves is enormous.

It's important to remember that wearing a mask doesn't eliminate your lack of self-confidence, it only hides it. Even though we may not feel it in any acute way daily, the problem still exists - it has only been repressed and rejected. In situations where we face crises, when we have to face difficulties, or when our true self is assessed, we will again feel the mental pain that will remind us that we cannot escape from who we are.

Only healthy self-esteem allows us to cope with difficult situations, and it is this that will be attacked first when mental pain comes. If he is unable to cope with difficult emotions, he will certainly let us know immediately. Painful emotions will easily look under the mask we put on and see us as we are. It turns out that we will never be able to escape from ourselves and the true beliefs we have about ourselves may become active when we least expect it, bringing with it the need for real change.

So where does true authenticity come from? Simply put, from self-acceptance.

It is a removal of the mask under which we try to hide our imperfections to then address the main reason why we feel the need to put it on in the first place - self-esteem.

It requires care and love, like a child to whom we should give due attention. When our self-esteem “feels” loved and accepted, this irresistible need to be someone else, inauthentic - will simply disappear.

Being ourselves, regardless of who we are, means accepting our flaws, shortcomings, and even the past, which can be very painful.

It is the ability to come to terms with the way things are.

Authenticity should be treated first and foremost as freedom. When we become authentic, we no longer feel compelled to pretend to be someone we are not. We perceive ourselves as valuable and - despite our flaws and shortcomings - we begin to perceive them not as a reason for shame or mental pain, but as an opportunity for development.

I believe that this is true authenticity - accepting yourself fully, without any limitations, and the ability to sincerely show it to yourself and those around you.

As mentioned earlier, authenticity, or lack thereof, is related to self-acceptance, which is related to our self-esteem.

That's why it's worth taking care of them first. The ability to like and even healthily love yourself is the key to high authenticity.

When we learn to be authentic, we stop feeling the need to pretend to be someone else. We will start to care about others seeing us as real, liking and loving ourselves.